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With TV gardening shows riding an all-time high, the traditional tale of the happy-go-lucky lad who sells his mum’s prized cow for a handful of magic beans is given a green-fingered makeover in this pantomime version.
Not only is there the growing of the beanstalk, but the good fairy comes in the guise of garden sprite Groundsel. She may be just a little weed, but she’s got a mischievous streak and takes great delight in the misfortunes of her adversary, accident-prone panto demon Wormwood.
Then there’s a lackadaisical trio of gardeners, Titch, Marsh and Dimmock, wreaking havoc among the flower beds, while their boss, Jill Jolly, runs the village garden centre. THEY spend much of their time arguing about the merits of water features and decking to say nothing of the value of digging in a good shovelful of organic matter – but she is a very practical and resourceful young lady. She’s madly in love with our hero of course and when a rival for his affections comes along, the green-eyed monster makes her easy prey for Wormwood’s nasty little plots.
Also ripe for subversion is Princess Penny’s poet, Sir Percival Parsley, a gorgeously-dressed fop who churns out bad verse by the bucketload and whose dignity is sorely affronted when he has to disguise himself as a village yokel and help her hide from the Giant Hogweed.
A bit of a dreamer with his sights set firmly on fame and fortune, Jack Durden wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone, least of all his mum, who’s growing old disgracefully but is a kindly soul who’s as brave as a lion. When the going gets tough, Dame Dolly gets tough too!
Like Hogweed, a giant who is not all he seems and whose unsavoury housekeeper Belladonna is the real ogre of the piece, Prince Charming is a lad who’s lost a princess, as well as his own pantomime. The line-up would not be complete without the most charming cow in pantomime, not forgetting of course the hen – the one that lays the golden eggs. Order a reading copy
Dame Dolly: I take a bath once a month whether I need one or not – and I always use Buttercup’s milk.
Villager: Is it pasteurised?
Dame Dolly: No, I usually just have it up to the knees!
Dame Dolly: Have you seen my vertigo?
Percy: Why have you lost it?
SETTING THE SCENE
The show opens outside Jill Jolly’s Garden Centre, by the duckpond in the sleepy village of Little Snoring in the Meadow. From there the action moves via a “front of tabs” scene in the milking parlour at Durden’s Dairy, to Dame Durden’s garden.
With this set on view no fewer than three times, it’s worth making it as leafy, lush and luxuriant as the set-painters can manage. After a brief visit to the Cattle Market, where all that’s needed is a lectern and gavel, the garden provides the setting for this pantomime’s transformation – when Groundsel and her bean sprites work their magic and the beanstalk sprouts before the audience’s eyes. Strobe lights, mirror ball and smoke machine – whatever effects are to hand - can all be brought into play to help create the magical atmosphere!
When the audience return after the interval they find themselves at the top of the beanstalk in a scene heavy on clouds, then, with Dolly, Percy and Buttercup hard on their heels in a hot air balloon – an inset downstage for scene 2 – it’s on to Hogweed’s Castle where there’s scope for lots of fun with some outsize kitchen equipment, the majority of which can simply be painted. The Great Escape leads everyone safely back to the garden where, with the beanstalk getting the axe and a crash landing by Dolly’s balloon, naughty Auntie Belladonna and wicked Wormwood get their come-uppance. Then Prince Charming’s Palace provides the setting for the traditional walkdown.
Worried about casting the giant? No need – it turns out he’s just a little titch with a mighty megaphone, and a huge cut-out leg to scare the villagers with! Top
MUSIC MAESTRO
Jack’s character and optimistic outlook on life are summed up perfectly in the number, I’ve Got a Lot of Living to Do, while his mum’s philosophy that everyone’s got to have a dream leads very readily into a rendering of Happy Talk from South Pacific. Jill Jolly’s big number is, of course, I’d Do Anything while other suggestions for musical numbers include Oh What a Beautiful Morning, Consider Yourself, An English Country Garden, Hello Dolly and Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head. There’s even scope for a gardening version of a Disney favourite – Heigh Hoe! Top