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There’s something fishy down at the Fiddler’s Elbow in the village of Stoneybroke. And it’s not just that barmaid Doris is a dozy wench with little grasp of the rudiments of hygiene.
The homely exterior of landlady Lottie Lightale hides a genuine, fourteen-carat Fairy Godmother, who’s taken over the pub to keep a watchful eye on Cinderella. It’s just as well, for they’re a motley crew living up at the ‘all.
Cinders’ dad, Baron Boris the Bankrupt is getting ever more forgetful, but it’s not his fault they’re all stoney broke. What money the Taxman doesn’t get his hands on, his shopaholic daughters spend like there’s no tomorrow.
They don’t come ghastlier than Cinderella’s self-centred step sisters. Their main hobby is shopping, but Ermintrude and Ernestina also have an eye for the gentlemen, and while to all outward intents and purposes they’re devoted sisters who share and share alike – there are limits!
Buttons at least has a soft spot for our heroine, but the final member of the household, poor old Dobbin, is a sorry steed in as much need of a make-over as Cinderella.
It’s not only Boris that The Man in Black, a tax collector who, like Mistress Lottie, is not all he seems, has under his thumb. Under his sauve, sophisticated exterior, lurks a Panto Demon as nasty as they come, and he’s also got ‘Orrid Orace and Naughty Norris – a lily-livered pair charged with screwing every last ounce of cash out of the Baron’s estate - at his beck and call.
Luckily for Cinderella – to say nothing of the rest of the family – it’s a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Unluckily, though indecently wealthy, Prince Charming’s having none of that – he’s much more interested in a game of rugger or a night out with the lads. So it’s not surprising there’s a case of mistaken identity when he and his sidekick, Dandini – a real charmer who DOES have an eye for the girls - drop by to book a bar and band for the forthcoming palace ball. Order a reading copy
Ermintrude: This gown was made for an eighteen-inch waist!
Ernestina: Are you sure you can squeeze into it?
Ermintrude: Of course! I’ve been eating like a bird all week.
Ernestina: Yes – a vulture!
'Orace: I say, Norris, how do you make a bandstand?
Norris: I don’t know, ‘Orace. How do you make a bandstand?
‘Orace: Take away their chairs!
SETTING THE SCENE
The real piece de resistance of this pantomime is the traditional transformation scene which ends the first half and offers the scenery and effects crews the chance to really go to town with just as much spectacle as they can muster.
It starts off in the kitchen at Stoneybroke Hall - behind which setting much of the “magic” can be prepared in advance. And in it Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother – with the aid, in this script, of a pair of magical mice unwittingly introduced into the household by Buttons, and a magician’s disappearing cabinet – not only turns an outsize pumpkin into a glittering coach but also comes up with a makeover too for poor old Dobbin, a flea-bitten nag if ever there was one! Cinderella’s rags are, of course, changed into a fairytale ballgown, complete with matching glass slippers.
The other major sets called for are the opening scene outside the village pub, the Fiddler’s Elbow, and the palace ballroom, which opens Act Two and doubles as the walkdown set for the grand finale.
A set of gates is easily contrived for the “front of tabs” scenes set outside Stoneybroke Hall while the Ugly Sisters’ boudoir can be portrayed simply with furniture – a dressing table, chairs and something to hang their ballgowns on. Top
MUSIC MAESTRO
With much of the action taking place at the Fiddler’s Elbow, this panto cries out for an adapted chorus of The Drinking Song from The Student Prince for its opening number. Featuring as it does the most famous pair of dames in pantoland, there really has to be a chance for the gruesome twosome to get to grips with Sisters. With Dandini doing his best to persuade the Prince to take an interest in girls, there’s a splendid opportunity for Goin’ Courtin’ while other suggestions for musical numbers include: It’s a Lovely Day Today, Do You Wanna Dance, We’re in the Money and Once a Year Day. And with rodent power to the fore in the transformation scene, the Cats hit Magical Mister Mistoffeles becomes Magical Mystical Mice (like these). Top